Well, I'm not enjoying being single. They obviously are. I'm glad not many people read this, because this is really not who I am. I'm not this whining, self pitying, sad all the time, person. I normally try to always smile, to see the positive in everything. But I cant see any positive in this.
Not only am I weepy and whinny all the time, but I'm filled with hate. Never in my life have I truly hated someone -well, maybe my grade school bully. If I never hear her name or see her face again for the rest of my life it will be too soon.
I wrote today for the first time in two weeks. What came out has ended up being our current story. Surprise, surprise. That’s all I've been able to write on here. And this one, I think they will never know about. Sad too, because I think it is probably my best yet.
I will be moving out over the next week or so. And as I pack, I cry. Separating the big stuff is nothing compared to the small.
Everything holds a dear memory, and my heart breaks a little more with every small treasure.
I need to take myself out of 'wife mode' but I cant seem to. I want what is best for my Love, I truly do and I'm afraid that in its self will keep us from being the friends we once were. So I have been officially single for one whole day, home alone, to deal. My Love, however has already been out to get drunk and as I speak is probably off seeing if there feelings can be transferred to a physical relationship.
Isn't life grand? Some people can be ok with just a slice of happiness in there life and others have to have the whole damn cake. So, I'm doing my best not to act like the cheated on girlfriend, but I cant seem to help how completely wrecked I feel. Obviously what we had takes less than a day to get over.
I hate people some times!...