Thursday, January 10, 2013

What to be when I grow up?

Okay, so technically I'm already "up", but I still don't know what I want to do with my life.

How sad is that? I'm about to be 27 and I still work a dead end job. I still struggle paycheck to paycheck and I still don't put any effort into bettering my life.

At what point do you step back, look at your life, and say, "I'm done making excuses. It's time to stop saying I wish, and I want, and do something."?

I'm at that point. But the thing is, I still don't feel like taking action is going to get me anywhere. Like a year down the road, I'll still be right where I am now. Plus, since I'm being honest here, I lack the will power to go out and grab what I want. It's all very frustrating.

My friend and I are talking about going back to school. We both want to do something that will better our futures. But what? And when I sit down and think about when I was most happy, I know I want to be a writer.

I love to write, but lets be honest, I'm not very good at it. My grammar is bad, my sentence structure needs help, and the stories are a little flat. But I feel like I have somewhat of a natural talent for it.

So I'm going to take my chances with school again, try to not think about the mountain of student loans I could acquire, and look into taking a creative writing and english course. I'm going to take a sledge hammer to the brick wall in my brain and put out a missing persons report on my muse. Cause this almost two year long writers block has got to go!

Wish me luck..